47 | 🤫 API: The Secret to Easy Relationships
Hello hello,
Today is a great day - 1st March. Spring is in sight which can only mean one thing: better weather. Can it?
Anyway, this is 2-2-2 Tuesday: 2 things you need to know, 2 recommendations, and a 2 useful quotes. It was 3-2-1 Tuesday, but I think 2-2-2 is better. Wouldn’t you agree?
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💭 Two things you need to know:
💭 Assume Positive Intent (API)
API API API. This is what I repeat to myself when I judge someone for their actions and assume the worst (and it rolls of the internal monologue tongue very well).
By assuming positive intent, I remind myself that the person probably isn’t acting in a malicious way.
Assuming that others are acting in such a way will only serve to make relationships and trust difficult.
This is explained very simply and eloquently in The Courage to Be Disliked:
[...]if you are afraid to have confidence in others, in the long run, you will not be able to build deep relationships with anyone.
Assuming Positive Intent - and placing trust in the other person - is the key to strong relationships.
Sure, people always take advantage. But having trust in others despite this is called confidence. Without confidence, we’d avoid making friends altogether, and what sort of world would that be? 🤷🏻♂️
🙏🏻 The Serenity Prayer - Controlling the Controllable, Ignoring the Uncontrollable
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
While having an obvious religious subtext (it was written by a theologian in 1932), this prayer was likely inspired by Stoic philosopher Epictetus.
Some 2000 years previous, In the first page of his handbook, he wrote:
Some things are up to us and others are not.
This is a great reminder. In life, there are the things that are under our control, and those that are outside of it.
Reducing the waste of energy on things that we cannot affect (gossip, negative news, the rain 🙄) is as important as focusing our energy on the things we can control.
✅ Two Recommendations:
🎧 Diary of a CEO w/ James Smith (Spotify link) - This is my favourite DOAC pod so far. I’m already a #Stan for James Smith, and I think his openness and realism shines through brilliantly here.
He’s smart and straightforward about many things in this ep:
The trap of goal-setting (in that once you reach X, you’re already setting an even higher/harder/further goal - so when do you ever sit back and be happy?)
His experience as an adopted child
The simplicity of exercise and losing fat: calories in, calories out
Living a life that is true to oneself
Brazilian Jiu-jitsu - which sounds amazing
It’s a brilliant podcast that covers the whole Weekly Wharmby spectrum: health, happiness, self-improvement. Go listen to it, you’ll be better off as a result.
💰 Depop - You already know what Depop is. You know how it works. You may have even bought a thing or 2 from there.
Take this is as your cue to sell your old stuff on there. Stop putting it off!
I know that it can take a while to do. So scroll down for my time-saving 3 step process.
Last year I made around £300 from things that were just lying there. Taking up space. Getting in the way.
Here’s the simple 3 step process:
First, go through your wardrobe and collect everything you no longer need. When taking them out, separate them into sellable (for Depop) and not sellable (recycle).
Take pictures of each item in a square format. I take mine on the floor or on a hanger. Bonus points if you take a picture wearing the item (use a table and a self-timer) - it’ll be more likely to sell. This is the longest part so set aside 1 evening (instead of watching Netflix)
Spend 10 minutes a day adding each item to depop, adding a description and putting it up for sale
Bonus: Watch the money come flying in
Obviously, you could also donate to charity. That would be quicker and easier, and most importantly allows you to give to those who need it most.
💬 And finally, two quotes
I’ve written and shared this many a time. And I will continue to do so.
And here’s James Clear reminding everyone that the best time to start was yesterday.
If you'd like to do something bold with your life, you will have to choose to do something bold on a specific day. There is no perfect day. There is no right time. For the trajectory to change, there has to be one day when you simply make the choice.
Nobody is coming to save us. I think this is a really powerful thought. Only we can take action for ourselves.
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Thanks!
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